Blame is one of the most powerful tools in the repertoire of a Cultural Defective. Do you want to diminish trust in a relationship? Cause irritation? Ensure that others do not want to help you succeed? Ruin a perfect opportunity for cross-cultural collaboration? Then blame is a good strategy.
In contrast, Cultural Detective advises you to “refuse to take offense”—a much smarter operating norm for Cultural Effectives. Has someone failed to inform you in a timely manner? Rather than blaming them for rudeness or unprofessionalism, it is more constructive to learn the intentions behind their (lack of) communication, explain your preferences, and together create a shared way forward—a “third culture.”
“Blame is the discharging of discomfort and pain. It has an inverse relationship with accountability.”
When others have a different cultural norm, mindset, or “common sense,” it is most productive and sanity-preserving to acknowledge and understand these differing “cultural senses”! Actively taking accountability for co-creating shared norms provides a way to work together more effectively. It also facilitates trust, while embedding as “normal” the processes and a mindsets to help solve future problems.
We are fans of Brené Brown, as many of you may be, too. The video below captures this basic concept of blame vs. accountability in her inimitably humorous and insightful style, albeit not in a cross-cultural context.
Are you looking to build intercultural competence, and learn a reliable process to transform blame into accountability? A subscription to Cultural Detective Online for you, your family, or team will help you accomplish just that!