Are Weapons Always Related to Violence?

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The first impression of anyone arriving to Yemen is probably the massive amount of weaponry carried by civilians. I imagine that children here probably sneer at the plastic “Made in China” toy guns. In a picnic area near Sanaa, I was shocked to see young boys of about 12 years old firing their AK-47s into the sky. They broadly smiled at me and furiously waved their hands with two fingers forming a V — sign for victory and peace.

It is estimated that there are 60 million firearms owned by the population of 25 million. Children and women aside, each adult Yemeni man stocks up to 10 weapons at home or tucked into his belt. And that excludes the ornamental daggers that are part of the traditional Yemeni outfit. Quoting political science professor Ahmed al-Kibsi: “Just as you have your tie, the Yemeni will carry his gun.”

However, despite the deeply-rooted gun culture, it is amazing to see what the Yemeni revolution has achieved so far, with a relatively low death toll (approximately 2000) compared to Syria (at the moment estimated at 30,000 and still rising).

One person who greatly contributed to the transition of power in Yemen is Jamal bin Omar — the UN envoy who orchestrated the negotiation process. One day after the election, I had the honor to meet up with him in a casual private gathering. Looking exhausted but calm, he agreed with me that Yemen stands now at the perfect position to transfer away from its gun culture, as security has to be the most important job for the new government.

In the same evening, I also talked with Cathy who is Jamal’s assistant. Overwhelmed with the very limited violence during the election, she told me that what is happening in Yemen is a miracle, given the country’s complex situation and its extreme gun culture: “There must be something very special in the make-up of the people here!” – Cathy explained to me – “They may scare the hell out of you with the loads of weapon they carry around, but they genuinely want peace!”

Strange but true: for Yemeni, weapons do not necessarily mean violence.

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I am co-author of Cultural Detective Vietnam, and am in the midst of a journey that traces the path of Islam from its origins as it spread outward around our planet. Thank you for following!

Thank you and congratulations to all who joined us in Paris!

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Congratulations and thank you to Annette, Benedicte, Christa, Christine, Constance, Corinne, Gwendolyn, Joseph, Laure, Marie, Marie Laure, Nathalie, Olga, Sandrine, Teresa, Thérèse, Sophie, and Véronique, who recently completed the Cultural Detective Facilitator Certification Workshop in Paris! Your Cultural Detective team very much looks forward to witnessing and supporting the good work you do in the world!

Many thanks also to their able facilitator, George Simons, and all the terrific people at SIETAR France!

It was a joy for me to at least virtually be in Paris in the springtime!

Please note that certification is not required to use this incredible intercultural competence development process. These 18 professionals are committed to using the method and materials to their utmost, and to customizing them to your organizational needs and designs.

You can see a full list of our author team members here, or certified facilitators who want to be listed as available to help you. The names and contact information of the newly certified professionals who wish to be listed will appear here shortly.

Our next certification course will be held in May in New York City. Click here for more details.

Mixed (&) nuts? A cross-cultural parenting perspective

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A Czech and a Jamaican walk into a…. relationship. And BAM! There we have it — my reality in a nutshell. Building my relatively new multiracial, multicultural blended family has been quite the ride: challenging, but worth all the energy, inspiration and personal transformation that the experience has brought about.

The key to making things work has been clear, open and respectful communication and a willingness to self-examine and adjust, while staying authentic and standing one’s ground about the key values that must remain uncompromised. As my sweetie and I say, if he and I can’t work through our differences, how can we ever expect the rest of the world to do the same?

In our case, in addition to the divergent racial realities we experience in this society (he as a black male, and I as a white female), the contrast between our upbringings and home community cultural values is quite vast. Our parenting styles mirror those which guided each of us, and they are nearly polar opposite! The parenting of our children from previous relationships, in fact, has been the hottest point of contention.

My style veers towards the permissive side of the spectrum which gives the child the time and freedom to construct his own internal moral compass experientially through empathy (of course, not totally without guidance). This parenting tendency reflects how I was brought up and is, in a way, indicative of the degree of the privilege, which has applied to me since childhood, to be generally relatively safe, and sheltered from strife.

My partner’s parenting method is authoritarian, bent on instilling strong discipline and ethic as a means to survive and thrive in a sometimes harsh world. His is a form of tough, protective love, “a strict and clearly defined” style, as he calls it. You could see how these vastly different philosophies could drive us nuts, but we are on a journey together, determined to respect one another and find meeting places somewhere in the middle. In fact, an interesting pattern is developing where we, the parents, are adopting a little of each other’s tactics as we evaluate which are useful for our particular circumstances. In short, we are really mixing it up in the mixing bowl that our family is.

What I am most excited about is that we are learning from each other and drawing on not only the richness of what was passed down to each one of us, but also from each other’s worlds. My hope is that this, for our children, rather than confuse, will open new doors and encourage new ways of seeing the world and interacting with the people in it.

Miscommunication: Too Much Cultural Sensitivity!

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This cross-cultural dating mishap (in response to this post) is a true story from UC Berkeley’s International House, submitted by Joe Lurie:

A German male student and a Guatemalan female student have agreed to go out on an evening date beginning at 8pm. Both wishing to make a good impression, decide to leverage their cross-cultural skills and sensitivity when dealing with approaches to time. The German fellow, normally stereotypically monochronic — 8 means perhaps five to eight — arrives at 8:45 only to find the anxious, somewhat distressed Guatemalan woman saying, “Where have you been? I have been ready since 7:50  as I wanted to be sensitive to your cultural clock.”

Adopting each other’s styles provoked an amusing disconnect — but in this case, not serious. They are married today!

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Thank you, Joe! Reminds me how often I used to bow in Japan when my colleagues would simultaneously stick out their arms in anticipation of a handshake.

Favorite Cross-cultural Dating and Pickup Mis-steps

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We’ve all had those dating, or invitation to date, “miss”es. Those times when cultural differences send unintended messages of the “I’m interested” variety. Many of these are funny, and fun to share. Come on, share some of yours, the kind that are safe for public consumption, of course.

A few of mine that come to mind:

  1. In a jungle lodge in northern Thailand, we spent the day on elephants, walking the river.  I remember smiling at one of the young guides. That night, after dinner, I climbed up to my sleeping bag, only to find it already occupied! NOT what my smile had intended to communicate at all!
  2. And, on the topic of smiles, it also caused problems for me in Italy. As I was leaving my room in the morning, the door to the room next door was open. I’m US American-born. I smiled at the guy sitting on his bed. That night he knocked on my door at 2 am, and kept knocking. Sob story told to me through the door about how his mother had just died, he was sad, and needed to talk to someone. Stupidly, I let him in. Incredulously, as he started to touch me, I started nervously laughing (I had spent a lot of time in Japan, and had picked up a tendency to laugh when nervous or tense …) Gratefully, my laughter must have offended him, because he left my room quite quickly after that.
  3. I am straight, but when I lived in Tokyo, I absolutely loved joining friends to go to the gay bars in Shinjuku-sanchome. We had great times dancing and laughing the night away! The guys didn’t seem to care I was hetero. So, when a girlfriend in San Francisco invited me to accompany her bar-hopping the lesbian bars of the city, I was excited. However, by the end of the night, I was depressed: not one person at any of the places we’d visited had asked me or joined me to dance, yet she’d danced the night away. “Well, Dianne, you do have that ‘I’m not lesbian’ sign on your forehead.” Funny I hadn’t noticed that sign when I’d powdered my nose earlier…
  4. Finally, this one from Brussels. Touring around the city, no doubt with a map in my hand, a young Belgian offered to show me the sights. “I don’t have money to pay a guide today,” I responded. “No, no, just as friends. I have free time. I’ll show you around.” After walking around and enjoying ourselves, we had a simple dinner and a beer. I offered to pay. “No, no; this is my city. I will pay.” So he did. As we got up to leave, I noticed my little purse was missing from my bag. I looked around for it, but it was not in the restaurant. My new friend helped me retrace our steps, to see if we could find it. Nothing. That’s when I noticed it: the omamori, or Japanese good luck charm, attached to my little purse. It was hanging out of his pocket. “Do you have my purse in your pocket?” I asked. My new friend threw the purse at me, shouting, “I toured you around all day! And you can’t even buy me a beer!” Then he ran away.

Ok, everyone, I’m looking forward to hearing a few of your “Cultural Defective” dating mis-haps. And for all of us to reflect on what we learn from these often funny and painful experiences. Please share your story via the form below, or in the comments. Thanks for helping us build a better world!

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Layering Lenses: We are All Multicultural Individuals

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“As an ethnic minority woman working in a large multinational firm, too often I feel like I have to learn only, to fit in. For the first time since I’ve worked here, I can now see, and explain, the unique and valuable perspective that I have to contribute as well!” she said, her face positively glowing.

The privilege of experiencing such affirming responses from Cultural Detective customers is part of what makes my job so incredibly worthwhile. This woman had just spent time creating her personal Values Lens, using Cultural Detective Self Discovery as well as a selection of Values Lenses from various other CD packages.

While the core of Cultural Detective is its process, which enables ongoing learning, collaboration and conflict resolution, the Lenses play an invaluable supporting role. As shown in the diagram above, one important role the Lenses can play is to help us realize that we are all unique, individual composites of the various cultures that have influenced and helped form us over our lifetimes. We are not “just” Chinese or Brazilian; we are much, much more than a single story, as Chimamanda Adichie so well told us.

In international cross-cultural work such as I’ve done over the past 34 years, too often people limit their definitions of “culture” to “nationality.” Culture goes way beyond nationality. Since by definition culture is the shared norms, values and behaviors of a group of people, culture can also include ethnicity, language group, physical ability or mobility, sexual orientation, or gender identity. More often than not, in my experience, while nationality(ies) tend to have a strong impact on our behavior, professional training, the culture of the organization to which the person belongs, the team culture, their socioeconomic level, generation, their faith or spirituality … all of these influence behavior as much as or more than national birth culture. It’s worthwhile for all of us to know ourselves in all the layers of our cultures: why we are the way we are, how we got to be who we are today. In this way we can better predict how we’ll respond, and better explain ourselves and our motivations to others, powerfully transforming collaboration.

People often ask me, where does personality end and culture begin? As a practitioner, my response is, “Does it really matter? Is there an objective, accurate answer?” We are all unique individuals and we are all also influenced by the multiple cultures in which we’ve grown up, been educated and trained, worked and lived. If we can keep our values and our goals clearly in mind, we can be flexible in our behavior and creative in our approaches, in order to perform at our highest and best in a broad variety of contexts.

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This post was part of the #MyGlobalLife Link-Up

More Than A Cross-Cultural Development Tool

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As many of you may know, the Cultural Detective Team periodically facilitates online learning events which have been designed to help new users learn or seasoned users refresh their skills around working with the Cultural Detective Method and Values Lenses.

I recently had a follow-up conversation with one of our new users, whose organization is getting ready to expand overseas to Australia. Because I often co-facilitate the online learning events, I always find it enlightening to speak with some of our new CD users and online participants to get their perspective and gauge our facilitation success by their understanding of how to work with the CD Method. It really energized me to hear this particular client’s feedback so I wanted to share!

He said he was really excited by the multiple ways he realized his organization could use the CD Method for growth, in addition to his initial hope of using it to aid global expansion. Needless to say, as he continued to clarify his meaning: by discussing how CD is really an excellent business communications tool that can be incorporated into ongoing associate training regardless of cross-cultural work, and that CD provides a superb process for coaching as well — by the end of our call I was really grinning !

It always feels good when the messages we are trying to send make it effectively across the virtual training waves, but when they are taken to another level and creatively applied to the organizational needs, the time we spend educating is worth it’s weight in gold!

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Cultural Detective Training Opportunity in New York City! |.

Culture Change and Free Speech

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Los Tigres del Norte, one of my favorite (and one of the world’s most popular) bands, was banned yesterday from playing in the city of Chihuahua. They were banned because they played a very popular narco-corrido based on a soap opera and book, La Reina del Sur. The ban occurred not in some foreign place that might be unfamiliar with the band’s norteña music, but rather in a city that is steeped in norteña culture. The Mexican press, and most Mexican people, are upset about and vocal in objecting to this cavalier censorship.

A bit of background is in order. As has been well publicized worldwide, Mexico has been a sad battle route in the drug buying and the arms selling of its northern neighbor. Locally and similar to criminals worldwide, drug lords take over and strong arm mountain pueblos, also sometimes building schools or hospitals and taking care of people, thereby building loyalty and security for themselves.

Around this drug trade has grown a culture, which has closely mixed with the pre-existing norteña culture. That cultural mix includes a style of dress (one extreme is those tippy-toed guarachero boots), a unique vocabulary and style of speech, songs (narco-corridos are songs that glorify the life of the outlaw), and even a patron saint whose image, likeness and altars can be found in most any colonía (Jesús Malverde, so-called patron saint of the drug lords and lost causes).

Mexico is a large country, as is northern Mexico, and norteña culture as influenced by narco culture has a diversity within it. There is also spillover; many people who have nothing to do with the drug trade may build an altar to Malverde (unwed mothers may pray to him, for example, as might people who have lost their jobs) or have his face emblazoned on the window of their pickup truck. And, MANY of them listen to what can be called narco-corridos. The particular song for which my Tigres were banned, ironically, ends with the outlaw (a woman) being punished for her crimes.

I believe that most Cultural Detectives value free speech, and do not believe in censorship. It is interesting, though, that this ban occurred because Chihuahua city is trying to change its culture. It is trying to take the narco out of norteña, to stop the glamorization of criminal activity, to restore responsibility and good citizenship to its citizens.

It is personally ironic to me because last year, I posted on the Facebook page of another favorite band of mine, la Banda El Recodo, sharing with them my disappointment that they had released a song so far below the respect and esteem with which they are held by the public (the song talks about guns, arms, bulletproof vests; it encourages people to get drunk and shoot bullets into the air; the official video involves non-stop drinking, high-priced cars and watches, and ends with the lead singer pretending to shoot the viewer). In hindsight, was I censoring? I know my motivations were the same as those of the city of Chihuahua: El Recodo is at the top of their craft; people respect them. I love them, and I love Mexico. I wanted them to stand for and promote what is good about Mexico, help make it a better place, not glorify and feed the worst of our local culture.

What do you all think? We interculturalists work with culture change on a daily basis. Have you advocated censorship in your role? Have the opinions you’ve expressed served to censor another? What are your strategies for culture change?

Inside Egypt: Recent Gallup Poll Results

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We have all been captivated by the hope, strength, and commitment to democracy of participants in the Arab Spring. I’ve also long been a “fan” of Egypt, studying Arabic for two years while living in Tokyo, in hopes of relocating to that country (hasn’t happened yet). Thus, I was excited recently to be able to hear Mohamed Younis speak about Gallup’s research in Egypt.

Over the past decade I seem to quote more and more from Pew Research, so I was very happy to see that Gallup has made a major commitment to conduct 100% self-funded, independent polls regularly in 140 countries. This should provide invaluable data for the intercultural field.

The research on Egyptians’ opinions that Mohamed presented had been conducted just after the parliamentary elections, in December 2011. The top findings he shared with us included:
  • Despite recent challenges in the country’s transition, Egyptians are still optimistic that Mubarak’s overthrow will improve their lives.
  • There is overwhelming confidence in the transparency of the upcoming presidential elections and in participation — 86% of those polled plan to vote in the presidential election.
  • Most Egyptians believe SCAF will hand over power to a civilian government after the presidential elections.
  • Islamists and Liberals very much agree on the issues of most immediate concern for Egyptian households, including women’s rights and economic priorities such as inflation and jobs.
 Some other interesting statistics from the polling:
  • 63% of the Egyptians polled felt that protests and revolts in their country have been the result of an indigenous desire for change. Mohamed said he felt this reflected a “hyper-nationalism” and “hyper-distrust” of foreign intervention, which he said can also be seen in the fact that 46% of the Egyptians polled opposed NATO intervention in Libya (compared to just 18% who were in favor).
  • Our group of listeners was largely US American, so Mohamed shared that 41% of the Egyptians polled said closer relations between Egypt and the US would be a good thing. 40% said it would be a bad thing, for a fairly even split on the issue. His interpretation is that this split is closely related to the fact that 73% of the Egyptians they polled do not feel that the USA is genuine in supporting democracy (rather they support their allies and economic interests).
  • When asked “If drafting a constitution for a new country, which rights should be included?” the vast majority of those polled cited freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and women’s rights (ahead of others in the region). The people of Egypt are definitely envisioning a representative government.

During questions and answers, Mohamed told us how some of the Islamist parties had won seats because they had bankrolled local services such as providing burial services or pilgrimages to Mecca for those who couldn’t afford them. He did not feel the rise of these parties reflected a rise in Islamism per se, and definitely not in the desire for a theocracy.

When asked what foreign governments could do to support Egypt, the clear response was: trade not aid, due to the rising sense of independence, nationalism and regionalism he perceives.

Mohamed also talked about the need for education around democracy, and the fact that an overthrow of Mubarak is not in itself going to create jobs. He said many young Egyptians expect a government job, with high salary and a pension, but with 80 million people and much poverty, they can not expect what young people in Saudi might be able to expect.

When asked about the high price of gas sales to the Sinai, and the fact that many Egyptians blame the Camp David Accords, Mohamed responded that even though this has nothing to do with the peace accords, they are nonetheless blamed. Most Egyptians have no interest in re-engaging Israel.

When asked about security for the Coptic church, Mohamed reiterated that most Egyptians very much respect religious diversity, and that the decision to protect churches was not a government mandate but rather an organic, people-led effort.

If you’re interested in hearing Mohamed present the Gallup findings, they do have a video posted and you can also find a download of his slides. He mentioned there was also audio available on iTunes.

Please note that any errors in my report of the data and Mohamed’s comments are no doubt my own.

Other Gallup reports on related subjects available online: